Castle walls
by MillaMaxwell12
Summary: Modern AU (Reincarnation) -Merlin goes next after The round table. The met and decided to listen to him sing. They cried. They all went back to Morgana's place. It has a happy ending.- A Merthur story. The song that Merlin sings is called 'Wings' by Birdy. Hope you enjoy changed the little lyrics a little to match up:D


_Breath Merlin! You can do this….you can do this. Just stand up there and sing with your heart. You wrote this song for...him. You can't back down, you idiot!_ I breath in and out, in and out, trying to calm my idiotic heart rate down. As my heart calmed down, i sat down with other players that are waiting to sing or play in the bar. _Bloody hell, i'm not gonna cry, not gonna cry…._ I wiped my tears away with my long sleeve and sniffed a little. I stopped and turned around because the whispering stopped and they looked at me like I'm some kind of weirdo... _maybe i am._ I forced my best smile at them and turned around to mine my own business. _Their almost down….Oh they're done…._ "Oh my god! We were really great! Weren't we Morgana?" said a dirty blond man, smiling while walking past me. _No it cant be._ I gasp a little loudly by accident and saw Morgana, and the others that are maybe Gwen, Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan, Percival, and…. _Arthur_ stopped where they were and looked at me with eyes of….disappointment? I shook my head and looked at them. "Sorry mates. J-just a little nervous going up there to sing...umm" I scratched my head and Morgana spoke up for the first.

"You sing?" She looked up and down at me as if to expect good from me. Her eyes shown a spark in them and then smiled.

"Y...yeah? Yes i do sing" I smiled up at her for real and handed her my hand but I heard a scoff.

"Lates go 'gana! We don't need to waste our time with an idiot" Arthur said haughtily and crossed his arms against his chest and glared at me.

"Oh c'mon, princess lets hear him sing! It'll be fun." said Gwaine as he put an arm around him and gave him a noogie.

"Yeah!Let's do!" said Gwen and Morgana said in usion and they laughed. I laughed with them and smiled. Lancelot, Elyan, and Percival nodded in agreement and smiled.

"See, told you princess! We should listen to him sing! I bet it'll be great!" Gwaine looked at me and smiled and i smiled back shyly.

"Oh sod off! Fine we'll listen to a bloody song of a _girl_! I bet he sings like a girl too!Haha!" He laughed at me and _after all these bloody years, he's still an arrogant prat._ I spoke out by accident.

"I cant believe I have a friend who could be such an ass" I said and wide shocked myself. … _..Bloody hell….what did i just do…..oh boy…_

"What?" He looked at me and stopped laughing and started to glare at me-

"Oh Look at that! I like you, boy!" Morgana but in. She smiled and grabbed my hand and shook it. She had a spark in her eyes and grinned for some reason. "Oh I'm Morgana by the way. And this here that you just insulted is my only and the one baby brother, Arthur-"

"Hey im not a baby-" He said with a glare but didn't finish his sentence.

"Yes you are!" Morgana snapped back.

"They're always like this" Whispered Gwaine. I smiled and looked at him, "Oh I believe you" I said and the others laughed.

"Anyway, This is Gwaine, Lancelot but you can call him Lance, he doesn't mind. Gwen and Elyan. Their brother and sister. And Percival. You can call him Percy too. We're called the round table. Like the legend, you know. And you?

I smiled at that. _I guess they're the same as always. Oh god...not again._ I sniffed and rubbed my eyes against my long sleeve. _Again. I should learn to not get so emotional. Why….why did i have to live forever and wait….wait for them and the once and future prat. I love him. It took at least the first hundred years for me to realize i was in love with him...damn these walls…._ "Hello?"

I shook out of my thoughts and stared at my past long friends with concerned eyes and Morgana in view with concerned. "Oh! Umm….I'm fine. I was just remembering the past, thats all. Also this is funny and all but I'm Merlin. Nice too meet you guys." _again._ I silently said to myself and smiled after they all laughed. "Well i guess thats it, then. I'm up next….umm…" I scratch the back of my head embarrassed.

'Oh stop being a _girl, Mer_ lin" Said Arthur with a smug face.

I glared playfully. But smiled despite myself and laughed. "I'll stop being a 'girl' if you stop being a prat all the time" and I shut my mouth quickly and said, "Uhh..I mean, is that you look to be a prat all the time! Yeah thats it!" I forced a smile out and they laughed again.

"No your right, Merlin. He's always a prat." Morgana giggled, "Anyway, we should let you go, You're next so we look forward to hear you sing. What song are you gonna sing?" She asked with a glint in her eyes with hope?

"Oh I look forward to hear you sing too, if you don't mind. Well you do mind but you look-" Gwen said after all this time and smiled next to Morgana and everyone smiled and nodded, too.

"Oh its okay and I don't mind, Gwen." I smiled at them. "Its a song I wrote. It was about a person i dearly, truly miss. That person I love, died before my arms and I couldn't stop missing that person so I wrote a song about him." I said. _Its not like I told them a lie or truth. Or talking about him._

"Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry to hear that." She gave me a hug and squeezed me and I did the same. She let go.

Gwen had eyes shining with almost tears and the others gave me a pat on the shoulder, even Arthur.

"Its okay." I smiled at them but didn't reach my eyes, though. "Its not just that person though. Its also my other friends that are….gone...long gone. Anyway, I better get going now. Bye!" I walked past them and heard them yell, "GOOOD LUCK, MERLIN!" and waved.

I waved back and walked away towards the stage. _Breath Merlin. You can do this. They'll watch and they'll may not remember but at least they'll talk to me and smile. But it looked like Morgana remembered though._ I smiled again and shook my head. _Lets do this!_ I stood in front of the microphone. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen. My name is Merlin and the song I'm about to sing is the one I wrote that's why I have my run through beaten up looking guitar." I smiled when they laughed and clapped a little but heard a scoff from Arthur by the counter and saw Morgana smack his head. I chuckled a little and went back to the audience. "Anyway, this song is about someone I lost truly deeply love that died in my arms. And my friends that are long...gone…" My smiled faltered a little but held strong. "Anywayyy. The song is called "Wings" By me." I breathed in and out. The audience were silent with respect. I close my eyes and started to play.

I played a little till the part where I started to sing with my heart again.

" _Sunlight comes creeping in_

 _Illuminates our skin_

 _We watch the day go by_

 _Stories of all we did_

 _It made me think of you_

 _It made me think of you_

 _Under a trillion stars_

 _We danced on top of fields_

 _Took memories off the ground_

 _So far from where we are_

 _They made me think of you_

 _They made me think of you_

 _Oh lights go down_

 _In the moment_ _we're lost and found_

 _I just wanna be by your side_

 _If these wings could fly_

 _Oh damn these walls_

 _In the moment we're ten feet_ _tall_

 _And how you told me after it all_

 _We'd remember tonight_

 _For the rest of our lives_

At this point I was remembering the past that happened and I put my heart into it. I felt myself cry salted tears and couldn't stop it. _I can't break down, Cant...CANT BREAK DOWN!_ I said to myself to keep going and don't stop.

 _I'm in a foreign state_

 _My thoughts_ _they slip away_

 _My words are leaving me_

 _They caught me smiling_

 _Because I thought of you_

 _Just from the thought of you_

 _Oh lights go down_

 _In the moment we're lost and found_

 _I just wanna be by your side_

 _If these wings could fly_

 _Oh damn these walls_

 _In the moment we're ten feet tall_

 _And how you told me after it all_

 _We'd remember tonight_

 _For the rest of our lives_

 _If these wings could fly_

I cried more and closed my eyes briefly and open them more again. I saw a lot of the audience cry silent tears. I looked at _them._ Morgana and Gwen were crying but holding each other hands. Gwaine and Percy had silent tears coming out but had tissues and wiping them away. Elyan went over to Gwen and pat her shoulder. Lancelot was smiling a little bit sad but with tears. _Arthur…._ I looked at Arthur and surprised he was crying silently but trying to keep it quiet trying not to make noise so he squeezed his knuckles till they turned white. I looked away and continued to cry and sing with heart.

 _Oh lights go down_

 _In the moment we're lost and found_

 _I just wanna be by your side_

 _If these wings could fly_

 _Oh damn these walls_

 _In the moment we're ten feet tall_

 _And how you told me after it all_

 _We'd remember tonight_

 _For the rest of our lives"_

I stopped singing and played a little. I then stopped and looked at the audience. "Sorry i was crying in the song and it made me think about them and I remembered the past" I said in a shaky smile and i sniffed. "Thank you for listening to me sing." The audience clapped and cried louder. "F...for an apology. I give these red roses to the ladies." I flashed my eyes a gold and roses popped in front of them except Gwen and Morgana that were crying in each shoulder. "A..and for the men, a white rose" and again I did like the ladies. "Thank you guys for listening to me again and sorry too. Have a good night." I smiled and waved. I stepped down the stage and ran towards them. I couldn't stop the tears anymore and saw them ahead facing me. I ran faster and went straight to Arthur and he hugged me and squeezed. We both cried silently and I held him with the same strength. _Arthur...Oh Arthur, you damn clotpole! Took your bloody time didn't you…...I love you._ "I love you, Arthur" I whispered to his ear.

"I love you too, Merlin and forever."He whispered to me. And I nodded my head to answer. With one last squeeze, I let go and so did he. We both smiled at each other and I kissed him chastely and turned around to looked at the others. I fell to the ground when Gwen and Morgana jumped on me and hugged me tightly while crying. They were mumbling words that were half sob. I chuckled and squeezed them a hug. They let go and apologized and they helped me up. I stood up and hugged them again.

"Never again. Never again we'll leave you alone." said a silently crying Gwen.

"I agree with this. Never Merlin. We'll never leave you." said Morgana with a silent crying smile.

I smiled at them both and my eyes flashed gold and a yellow rose and a blue rose popped in front of them and they smiled. A yellow for Gwen and a blue for Morgana. I walked towards Elyan and smiled at him when he gave me a hard hug and i returned the same. We let go and he ruffled my hair and I laughed. I turned to Percy. I grabbed me and lifted me up and squeezed me. "Welcome back, Merlin!" I laughed when he put me down and nodded. I look at Lance and he too grabbed me and brung me into a hug and squeezed me as hard as he can. I felt tears on my shoulder and I patted his back. "Merlin, I'm sorry for leaving you alone when it was the hardest. I love you as a little brother. Please forgive me?" As loyal it comes by, Lance was the best loyal friend. I nodded and patted him again and he let go. He smiled back and said, "Welcome home, Merlin." I smiled. I went to Gwaine who's sitting on the chair, head covered by arms. I touched him gently. "Gwaine..?" I said. _I'm sorry, Gwaine. I couldn't save you and the others in the past….even….Arthur...I'm sorry for being a fool to trying to escape destiny and trying to make my own road….I'm so very sorry….._ I said to myself. Gwaine looked at me and his eyes were bloodshot from the crying. He reached out towards and hug me and crying. I hugged back. "I'm sorry for leaving you, Merlin. I'm so very sorry." I squeezed him.

"Its alright. Im the one that's sorry." I said and i let go and turned towards them I felt my heart break when i saw their faces and shuddered. "All of you! I'm the one that's sorry for letting you guys die back..then. I'm sorry Morgana that you turned evil because of me. I'm sorry Gwaine for not stopping what happened. I'm sorry Lance that I couldn't stop you from giving yourself up to save me, Arthur, and Camelot. I'm sorry Percy that you lost your life in the battle. I'm so very sorry Gwen that i couldn't save Arthur from death. I'm sorry Arthur that I didn't tell you my magic on time, or saving you, or..or _preventing_ it from happen..ing!" At the last sentence, I tried to smile but it falter. I broke down and started to cry. "I'm so very sorry I let you guys down and t...trying to make...my own destiney..and running away….Please forgiv..e me…." I cried more but I felt strong arms and tears around on me.

"Let's...head to my place" said Morgana when she put a hand on Arthur's shoulder and he nodded. We left the bar and were in a cab. Arthur, Morgana, and I are in one cab while they were hugging me with a silent cry while the others took a second cab. We got there in 15 mins. When we got inside the others got there in a sec. and I broke down again. "I'm sorry for everything. I felt I was cursed to live for a thousand years to live with a guilt... For many, many years i wanted to be with you guys and ne...never be alone but I c….couldn't. I lived with it and l..learned…. I'm sorry! I promise to leave you guys alone if you don't wan..t me-" I felt strong arms around me.

"Shhh….Its not your fault, Merlin. Its okay. We aren't mad at you for trying to make your own destiny. You don't have to say 'Sorry'. We're the ones to say sorry for leaving you alone. We love you Merlin. For just being you and care for us. You did your best to stop everything from happening. It's okay. We're back and not leaving you alone anymore." I was sobbing into his shoulder while he also cried. I held him tightly never letting go. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Morgana crying with a sad smile and she hugged Arthur and I. The Others did the same and crying. It was a group hug. "Merlin," Arthur whispered against my ear, "Don't ever say you're sorry for everything. Its alright now and _were here_. I'm _here_ " He said.

We all let go and i faced him and smiled. I nodded. "Plus you sound like a _girl, Mer_ lin. What happened being a man?" In a teasing happy tone with a perfect smile showing his crooked teeth.

I laughed happily now and shook my head. "You prat." I said "You're still a clotpole and always will!" He made a mock-hurt gasp and laughed. He grabbed me and we hugged. "Merlin. I missed you. I...I love...you" He said embarrassed and I chuckled, looked at him as he did the same and we kissed.

We broke apart and smiled. _It felt right._ "I love you, too, clotpole. Even if your a prat." He laughed. I heard squeals and wolf whistles and clapping. I also heard Elyan said, "Thank god, they're finally together!" And we laughed and I hugged Arthur as he did the same. _Its fine now right? Im here with my closest friends and My king, my lover, and my other side of a coin._

 **Hope you guys enjoyed another Merthur story.**

 **Thx for reading this and I hope you guys let me know what you think.**

 **It'll mean a lot to me. Anyway thanks again :D**

 **Also the song is called 'Wings' by Birdy. I luv her songs!**


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